Show #147: Beyond Mars and Venus with Dr John Gray


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And onto this week’s show!

I am thrilled to have Dr John Gray join me on the show this week. His Mars/Venus book series has forever changed the way men and women view their relationships and he has authored over 20 books since the mid-90s. At the core of his work, John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance.

Most of us have to communicate with the opposite sex, regardless of whether we are in a male/female relationship and this podcast will support us all that much I can tell you. We talk about the biology of what men and women need when communicating and connecting, common pitfalls in long term relationships, addictions such as porn and their detrimental effects and the role reversals often happening in families and how to navigate those in the modern world and striving for meaningful equality.


Enjoy the show and the wonderful show-supporter offer and grab all details over in the show notes and click on this show’s tile, Alexx.



The questions I asked John:

The questions dart around timeline/subject wise, so I’m just sharing them so that you have some of the topics I want to touch on, but when we go live it will flow organically and I’ll bring questions in that are relevant so it all flows.

  • You wrote Men are from Mars / Women are from Venus 27 years ago now and many more books on these mars and venus characters… Why did you feel you wanted to explore “Beyond” mars/venus with the latest book “Beyond Mars and Venus”? Filling in the gender nuances/accounting for what might have changed in the past couple of decades?
  • As the lines of gender continue to blur, more women in positions traditionally only occupied by men, more men taking parental leave and playing active carer roles, more open welcoming of gay, trans, nonbinary identifiers… What does this mean for the stereotypes and ‘typical’ hallmark traits of man and woman?
  • I love how you dive into the male and female sides in each of us in the book… do you think we can tune into those sides of us to create a deeper understanding for the other?
  • What are the fundamental differences that – without acknowledging them – we risk getting stuck in the frustration hamster wheel in a relationship?

For the women listeners who’ve had a couple of questions:

  • How do I talk so that a man will listen deeply? At home /  in a professional context?
  • How do I get a man to READ YOUR BOOKS!!!  (Without telling him to read your books, as you suggest this is the WRONG thing to do!)
  • How do I help my man adopt things that we need to change in the family? Ie quite often women champion the ‘eating better food / reducing toxins’ efforts and men think their wife has been swallowed up by an expensive hippy cult: Advice?
  • What are some of the pitfalls in communicating effectively as a man, with a woman? Where perhaps do men get it wrong sometimes?
  • Is a great long term relationship possible? What do you think your key factors have been in your marriage?
  • Pornography can become a big problem… what are warning signs that it IS a problem and how do we turn up the sex and turn down the porn?
  • How do we get through the “small-kids-years” intact as a couple – so many people become so operational to the detriment of our adult relationship and intimacy – often out of necessity to preserve sanity – those early years of parenthood, so how do we keep it strong?
  • How do we achieve equality and true empowerment for women, without making men feel threatened or like they’re going to lose somehow?
  • How has finding a mate changed in this complex time? Whether we meet at a bar or at a friend’s dinner party or on tinder – do either give us more or less of a chance of making a good match?
  • When we can look up so much about a ‘prospective’ partner these days – Linked In, Facebook profile, Instagram… is this potentially hurting our ability to truly go in curious and connect?

Incel’s and a rise in violence against women…


Other helpful links:

You can find out more about John Gray and his work here:

Follow John on Facebook


Enjoy the show and thanks again for taking the time to rate and review the show on your app – it’s like tipping the bartender and it means the world.

Low Tox. Happy us. Happy planet

Comments 2

  1. Hi Alex.
    Do you think you could talk about sex workers/ prostitution in a marriage. Secret life stuff that the men partake in. When these prostitutes offer “ a religious experience “ how do you compete with that? A quote I read said “ incest ,is to a family, what prostitution is to society” especially within marriage. I know lots of women that have discovered the secret life of the men they are married too. And I think it’s getting more common, for sure. It’s so easy for them to day.

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