Show #196 – John Gray: Going deeper into relationship communication


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And onto this week’s show!

This week on the show we have Dr John Gray, known for his “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” and the many books he’s done since. If you didn’t catch show #147, head back and have a listen to last year’s show where we looked at hormone balance as key to a healthy relationship, how to get the balance right and what we can do to start communicating better.

This show, we deep dive into the questions that came after you listened last year – such good questions! On this interview we talk about spending more time than ever together during the era of the ‘Rona and how we can do that to success, as well as practical examples to use during arguments, how doing more than the other is relationship sabotage, same sex couples and how getting the balance right happens when the hormones are the same rather than complementary and much, much more. I hope you enjoy it. I always learn so much from John. Grab more details on his books and work below.


The questions I asked John:

Last time we talked about the – if we can say more “straightforward” – relationships… man/woman, communication, hormones… Today we go deeper into the grey areas – the different situations, difficult situations? 

    • Let’s start with isolation – a time many have loved and many have not. Some in the world are in varying degrees of sheltering in place still or at the very least, social distancing due to existing health conditions or living with elderly family members. For people who normally love a large amount of independence and freedom in their life, ie those couples that work better when they’re not together all the time: How can they navigate times when all of a sudden you’re faced with round the clock co-existence? How do we better set boundaries and space when the way we’ve done that has changed (this could help for family holidays down the track too!) 
    • It’s been heartbreaking to see the reports in a rise in violence in the home during the quarantine/physical isolation phase. What leads someone to become controlling of their partner, then abusive emotionally/violent and what can we do as a society to change these shocking statistics. How do we create real change, given a restraining order isn’t really going to solve the problem. 
    • I also wanted to talk about separation and divorce today. What are some of the ways we might know for sure that the person you’re with isn’t going to work out? It can be hard to be intuitive given what’s at stake sometimes with kids, assets… easier to stay together. But is it? How can we find our truth? 
    • How do we heal from a divorce and if we have kids, how can we ensure the least amount of damage is done to them in the process? 
    • Are there different things men and women need to do for themselves when healing from broken relationships? 
    • We have talked primarily in the context of opposite-sex relationships but what about same-sex couples – is it easier for them to understand each other or harder because there are less clearly defined hormonally-defined biological roles? 
    • Now onto raising kids, given you’ve written a book on the subject. What do you believe to be the most important positive parenting skills for raising confident, compassionate kids? 
    • And then the rest of the time we’ll discuss this subject, the 5 key messages “It’s ok to… 
    • We talk about raising confident kids – what about confidence in parenting? 

Other helpful links:

Discover how to take your relationship to the next level:

Join him on Instagram @johngraymarsvenus_official and on Facebook

Grab the book over at Booktopia or visit The Book Depository


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Comments 2

  1. I am currently listening to this podcast and have paused to say that I was pretty horrified to hear John Gray claiming “We don’t need the vaccination to protect us, how many people actually have died who exercised 3 times a week – No-one”. This is demonstrably untrue, and really dangerous misinformation. Healthy lifestyle habits like diet and exercise will help you be generally healthier but do not stop you catching or transmitting a novel pathogen. Young healthy people have become seriously ill with Covid, have been left with ongoing health issues and have died. It should be noted that John Gray is not a medical doctor nor an epidemiologist. His publications may be helpful to some people but speaking so far out of his area of expertise during a pandemic is seriously irresponsible. Really disappointed to hear this on your podcast and to hear you agreeing with him.

    1. Post

      Hi Jody, thank you for your comment. I totally appreciate where you’re coming from and why you felt the need to say something. I want to clarify on behalf of John that when he said ‘we don’t need a vaccine, we need…’ he meant, we shouldn’t be solely focused on sitting and waiting for a saviour solution when there is so much we could be doing now. I agree, we can do so much to boost our immune systems while exploring the best public health avenues, which is why I had the wonderful Dr Elisa Song to discuss her extensive research on this new virus, our immune systems and everything the research was telling us we could get started on from today to place ourselves in the best shape possible. Regardless of anyone’s individual beliefs, we don’t have to wait for a second to work on our immune system function, right? We’re all still figuring this out, and my hope is that we can address this pandemic from every possible angle. I also shared these thoughts in my weekly newsletter to clarify my stance on the topic. We must take all precautions to avoid transmitting or catching a novel pathogen, and that includes sanitising, wearing a face mask and looking to science for safe vaccinations. Alexx

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