About this show:
Well here it is – the last show of 2024!
Thank you for being with me these past 50 shows, as we’ve expanded into more Low Tox Mind and Life topics, both family and personal, with a view to supporting the whole picture of a healthy life, not just all the things that go wrong and how to fix them – which of course shall always be a part of it, but where our attention goes our energy flows and there is so much goodness and life to be lived – even when it can all feel like it’s falling apart at times.
I hope you enjoy this wonderful conversation with master coach Josselyne Herman-Saccio (SAY Joss-Lynn Herman SAHHCHEEO) who shows us the Art Of Being Unmessable with, no matter what life throws at you. She has spent over 30 years as an entrepreneur, author, coach, course leader and curriculum designer of transformative programs – was even in a pop girl band for a minute there with a No1 hit… What a story! Her mission is to empower people to live the life of their dreams now, versus someday and develop themselves to be “unmessable with” in the process.
I got so much out of it and felt it would be the perfect juju to end the year on – I hope you’ll agree!
Enjoy the show and can’t wait to hear what you think,
Alexx Stuart
Founder of Low Tox Life and the Low Tox movement
Join me on Insta @lowtoxlife
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Thank you to this month’s show sponsors for helping you make your low tox swaps easier:
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Be sure to join me on Instagram @lowtoxlife and tag me with your shares and AHAs of this week’s episode.
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About Josselyne Herman-Saccio
Josselyne Herman-Saccio (SAY Joss-Lynn Herman SAHHCHEEO) is a master coach in the Art Of Being Unmessablewith no matter what life throws at you. She has spent over 30 years as an entrepreneur, author, coach, course leader and curriculum designer of transformative programs. Her mission is to empower people to live the life of their dreams NOW, versus someday and develop themselves to be “unmessablewith” in the process.
Connect with Josselyne on the following platforms;
Instagram— @beunmessablewith
Website— https://www.beunmessablewith.com/
Enjoy free resources at https://beunmessablewith.com/freebies/
More about this month’s sponsors:
Thank you to this month’s sponsors for partnering with our show and helping you make your swaps with their special offer:
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Title show track, by LIOR.
Love the podcast music? You will hear excerpts from Lior’s track “Caught Up” – go check it out on iTunes or Spotify if you want to hear the whole song or album, Scattered Reflections. Co-written with Cameron Deyell, it’s a great song and I love the reflective energy of it – perfect for the show, right? Enjoy. Lior is always touring, so do check out his website. It is wonderful to hear him sing live, trust me.
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Want to join a community of like minds and enjoy all the perks of being in the Low Tox Life inner circle such as an online membership platform, 50% off all our Low Tox courses, an awesome chat group, my monthly Q&A, and special guest star interviews for just $49AUD ($29USD/28EUR/23pounds) per YEAR? We have created a special place and set of resources to help you achieve your goals and it’s a wonderful place to be – MORE DETAILS AND REGISTRATION HERE.
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If you would love reading like me or you just simply want to go through the full transcript, you can check below.
[Alexx Stuart] (0:00 – 8:26)If you would like to design for life rather than respond to life, this is a brilliant show for you. Hello and welcome to the Lotox Life podcast. I am Alexx Stuart, your host, founder of the last show of the year.
Thank you for joining me for 2024, another 50 shows logged with just so many inspiring, fantastic conversations. You may or may not have noticed that I have really focused on broadening the Lotox Life topics into the mind, mental health, and living life to the fullest space. Why?
Because I recognise through my own journey in chronic illness with mould, and as a midlife woman where the roller coaster of hormones can really be throwing a whole bunch of stuff at you, it is very easy to take the position of responding to life and all that it’s throwing at you and feeling hard done by, knocked down, constantly like you’re trying to get up. And I’ve been curious to know why, through my own journey actually initially, how it is that I can have so many joyful moments and be so positive and optimistic, even though I’ve been sleeping on my couch for the last six months because our room makes me feel ill and there’s a small amount of mould from historic water damage in there, even though I have had so many symptoms in the musculoskeletal genre and been unable, for a variety of reasons that are far too big to explain here, to respond positively to any type of oestrogen therapy just yet in the HRT world. And yet, you know, being financially pressured big time with another house move that hasn’t gone according to plan, the list goes on, right?
And yet I have achieved so much this year that I’m so proud of. I’ve gotten to live fantastic experiences with gorgeous friends. I’ve gotten to spend beautiful, happy moments with my family.
And I think it is really important for us to do life by design and with intention in the midst of what happens in life that we perhaps don’t have control over. So that has been my thinking, probably my background staging for some of the topics that I’ve brought into the fold this year. And if you’ve missed any shows, I do encourage you to go back and have a have a look at the library of what we published this year because some of the chats are extraordinary and I’ll be putting together in the newsletter a few thoughts, a few highlights from the year in the coming week.
Now, today’s show, speaking of not having life always happening to you and understanding that regardless of what is happening, you can always be in design mode, in expansion mode, in enjoyment mode. I have a wonderful master coach with me. Jocelyn Herman Sarchio is a beautiful soul.
She is a force and she is, she calls it the art of being unmessable with no matter what life throws at you. So I think it just speaks beautifully to some of the energy and feelings I’ve been having in my own personal life and talking to many community members. I’m getting the same vibes.
And Jocelyn has spent the last 30 years as an entrepreneur, an author, a coach, a course leader, curriculum designer of transformative programmes, her missions to empower people to live the life of their dreams now. And I know that can sound like a syrupy brochure, but you will hear some of the things in this chat that will absolutely make it feel like that is possible, regardless of what you’re going through, regardless of what’s happening. And I really thank her for bringing the energy she brought to this conversation.
I think it’s a beautiful way to finish off the year. So we kick that off in a little minute, but I will remind you that you have Ozclimate 10% off whatever is already discounted on their website, ozclimate.com.au. It is the season of humidity. Someone asked me the other day, how do you know when you need to start using the dehumidifier if you don’t have one of those climate gauges, which by the way are only 20 bucks on their website.
And I thought to myself, how does one know if you don’t have that? You can always use the humidity on your weather app, but I think a woman’s hair is actually probably the best barometer for whether you need a dehumidifier. So if you are drying your hair and then half an hour later, an hour later, or you just go outside for a few minutes and there’s frizz everywhere and it has doubled in volume and you feel like you need to blow dry it again, chances are you need a dehumidifier.
And then of course you need it after you’ve had showers to dry your bathroom out thoroughly, to keep your laundry dry if you use a dryer that isn’t a condenser, and a number of other reasons that I have shared over the years. So now is the time to get one. Please don’t wait for lots of rain to start coming in the later parts of summer if you’re Australian.
You cannot do Australian summer, other than perhaps in some parts of the West Coast, without a dehumidifier. And then I would still argue, even if you’re on the West Coast, people are still taking showers, leaks spring every now and then, life happens and dehumidifiers at hand can really help you mitigate and prevent damage in those unexpected water-related moments. So you have those, Winix air purifiers, their amazing new air circulators which are fantastic for keeping air flowing through your home.
Go and check out the range 10% off Code Lotox Life. And then Edible Beauty, possibly the most generous Australian beauty brand I know, has given us an extension on the ridiculous Black Friday community sale they had. Our community continues to have 40% off this week.
And the best part about this is it’s for the UK and the US as well. So enjoy, hop on, such a gorgeous brand. If you want to try a couple of highlight products that I love, the Exotic Goddess Ageless Serum, which is the number three in their core four skincare range.
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Now let’s go design our lives, shall we? Enjoy my chat with Jocelyn. Jocelyn, hello.
How are you?
[Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (8:27 – 8:29)I’m wonderful. Thanks for having me, Alexx. [Alexx Stuart] (8:29 – 9:28)
Oh, I’m so excited. We’ve got end of year vibes, big energy at the end of a year. Everyone kind of thinks, oh my gosh, I’ve got to get all these things done that in January I said I was going to do and then they didn’t happen.
And what I love about your work is there’s a sense that we can, if we have the right tools, mindset, we can actually shift from that reactive vibe that we realise often at this time of the year we’ve been in. And then there’s the frustration that we haven’t had enough creation in our year, enough intentional action taken that we wanted to do. So let’s start there.
Why did that become a topic of interest for you? I mean, you have an incredible story that of course I’ve shared a little bit about in the intro, but maybe you want to speak to that and talk about transitioning into coaching as well.
[Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (9:29 – 12:08)Well, I’ve been coaching longer than I’ve done anything. So since I was about 18 years old, I’ve been coaching people in transformative work, which is kind of strange if you think about it. Because the other day I said I was 47.
I was like, no, I’m not. I’m 57. But I’ve been participating in transformation for almost 47 years.
So it feels like I’m 47 in my real selfness, so to speak. So I started coaching people when I was a late teenager. And then inside of my own development, because as being a coach, you’re always developing and discovering new things.
And I have multiple coaches. I was able to disappear a limiting belief to be able to fulfil a lifelong dream of being a pop singer. And that record went to number one, and it was a dream come true.
And then I said, OK, if I could do this, anybody could do it. Anybody could fulfil their dreams. It’s just having the right tools.
And so I became sort of obsessed with, and this is so long ago, but I became obsessed with empowering people to live their dreams, not chase it. And most people, I mean, statistically, which is kind of frightening, and I don’t know, this can’t be true, but it’s in multiple places that 98% of people die with their dreams intact. That’s insane.
Yeah. Because if I look, I have accomplished pretty much any dream I ever had, and it’s through a specific methodology. So I got committed to starting to develop this as a system that people could replicate and be able to apply to any area of their life.
So when you go back to the end of the year vibes, most of why people end up at the end of the year kind of scrambling like, my God, I said this, I said, is because they’re not dealing with their goals and their dreams throughout the year. They deal with it in the beginning. So next month, everybody’s going to make resolutions or this month, and then they’re going to probably fall back after a month or two.
Three at the most, people stop honouring their word to what they said they were committed to. That’s why gyms count on those memberships in January, and then nobody goes come March. So what I developed was a system that you could ongoingly be creating your vision and your goals, which are different, throughout the year so that you can tend to it.
It’s like watering plants. You water it every week instead of just in January and December.
[Alexx Stuart] (12:08 – 12:15)Then you actually end up with a plan. Let’s just unpack vision versus goal. What is the difference? [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (12:16 – 13:04)
Well, most people, when I first start working with anybody, coaching them, my first question is what’s your vision? And almost every time they tell me a goal like, oh, I want to double my business or I want to get married and have a family. Those are goals.
Goals are in reality. So there are things that actually happen in the world. Like the dual world that we live in, there are things that can actually be achieved in time.
Vision, yeah. I mean, that’s clear about a goal, right? But people confuse goal and vision, and when you conflate anything, you lose the power of each of those things that you’re collapsing.
So vision is more contextual and spatial. So it’s kind of like if I ask you, what’s one of your goals? Just tell me one so that we can do this real time.
[Alexx Stuart] (13:04 – 13:08)A goal is to get to visit my family in France next year. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (13:09 – 13:11)
Perfect. You can come visit me. That’s where I am. [Alexx Stuart] (13:11 – 13:12)
Oh, nice. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (13:13 – 13:23)
Yeah. So if you visit your family in France, that’s a goal. Now, what becomes available to you experientially or spatially once you’ve had that visit? [Alexx Stuart] (13:25 – 13:33)
What becomes available to me experientially? I start kind of dreaming about how it’s going to be and how it’s going to feel to be with them. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (13:34 – 13:43)
And what do you see there if you kind of like get a sense of what is that experience of life having had that time with your family? [Alexx Stuart] (13:44 – 13:46)
Oh, the best. Like connection. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (13:46 – 13:49)
The best. Connection. Perfect.
Connection is more like vision.
[Alexx Stuart] (13:50 – 13:51)Got it. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (13:51 – 14:32)
So if connection is your vision, you don’t have to wait till next year when you’re in France to have connection. You can be creating that space of connection right now on this call or at Starbucks when you go get your coffee. Or I mean, if people still go to Starbucks, I don’t know.
But the point is you can live that vision. You can live that dream now, not someday, not next year when you go to France. Those are goals.
Goals are like at this time in the future. But vision is much more of a right now and a future phenomenon. So it’s interesting because it’s like a come from, a get to, and a stand in phenomenon.
[Alexx Stuart] (14:32 – 14:53)Yeah. It kind of reminds me of Joe Dispenza’s work where you feel it to be it. Like you can feel the act of being in the thing before the thing is necessarily a reality.
And it creates the neural pathways of possibility for you to get to that reality.
[Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (14:54 – 15:23)Yeah. And I would just add to that, it’s like that, but the difference is that what I’m saying is you create it with your word, like you just did. You created connection with your word, and then you be it.
You don’t wait to feel it. You be it, you bring it, and then the feelings follow. So I’m not as concerned with the feelings because your feelings are a little bit of a crapshoot.
Like if you could control how you feel.
[Alexx Stuart] (15:23 – 15:31)I love that word. Yeah. I put on a show of guys and dolls at uni, so like crapshooting is absolutely a beautiful word for me. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (15:31 – 16:11)
But I’ve never been able to control my feelings. I mean, sometimes I feel happy, sometimes I feel sad, sometimes I feel motivated, sometimes I don’t. So if I don’t work on my feelings and what I’m developing is my word to create, because creation happens in language.
And when you create, and also other vocabularies, it doesn’t have to be the spoken language, it can be art, it can be music, those are all vocabularies. But when you create something, that’s a different experience of life than when you react to something, which is really more where feelings live. They’re in the world of reaction, not creation.
[Alexx Stuart] (16:12 – 16:36)And so if someone is feeling like they’re never seeming to make happen the things that they want to happen, and they live in knee-jerk land where you’re always kind of reacting to what’s coming in, what would you say is one of the most powerful ways to make the first baby step sort of shift, if you like? [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (16:37 – 18:41)
Well, first you have to see that you’re in, I like how you said knee-jerk land, right? I call that the world of reaction or the world of being messable with, which is sort of what that means. It’s just like being a leaf in the wind.
And even if you’re really good at reacting, like highly effective people are because they have to put out fires and whatever, that’s still reacting. And it’s not that space of magic and creation and vision. So the first thing you need to do is to be able to see the triggers and the red flags that you’re in that world and hack it so that you can get to neutral.
Now, neutral lasts about a nanosecond. So neutral is not really the game. Although most methodologies are like, just get to neutral.
And then you end up sucking back in to the reaction because once you get to that zone place, maybe in meditation, maybe in whatever practise, this is what I discovered over the last 35 years, is that that’s just not sufficient. Neutral is not sufficient because the world doesn’t tolerate empty space. So whatever nothingness you get to is going to get filled.
And it’s going to mostly get filled by your reactions in the past and all that stuff. It’s like a vacuum. So the world of creation, the world of vision is what I started to get really interested in because if you can replace what is going to fill the space by default called reaction with your creation, then you’ve got a shot at actually fulfilling on your vision right now and in the future.
So it’s like a muscle that you’re developing. So the first thing is notice it. The second thing is hack it.
And then the next thing, and it really isn’t next, it’s sort of like when I work with people in the beginning, I have them pre-create a vision so they have someplace to go to because in the heat of the moment, you get to nothing. You’re not going to be like, what can I create? You’re already back in the soup.
So pre-create a vision so they can start to practise coming from and acting from that vision.
[Alexx Stuart] (18:42 – 19:08)Beautiful. And can you share a time in your life where you were really intentional about that creation piece? I mean, I’m sure given your line of work, that’s happening all the time, but like one of the first times you noticed like, ah, there’s something I did there to make that happen.
And it was so cool. And I wonder if I could do it that way again, maybe with something else because you’ve done a lot of different things.
[Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (19:08 – 21:54)Oh my God. Yeah. It’s like, I listen to my bio sometimes when people introduce me and I’m like, I’m exhausted already.
Like, I don’t even know how many lives have I lived, you know, at the tender young age now. So really the record deal story is kind of a good example of that because when I had that breakthrough, when I saw, you know, when I was five years old, I wanted to be a singer. I would sing to anybody and anything, including all my stuffed animals, right.
Um, and then I was talking to my father when I was five in the car and he had been a painter and he, and I noticed he was painting less and less. So I asked him like, why did you stop painting? And he said, well, you can’t do your art as your career moment.
I know. Right. And it’s not like he was trying to crush my dream or anything.
I mean, my father’s my biggest supporter, but that’s how it was for him. And he worked in advertising. And in that moment, it’s not that he said it, but I said it to myself.
Oh, you can’t do your art as your career. So you better do something else. So I figured I’d be a lawyer or a business or something.
Right. And I stopped really wholeheartedly acting on that dream. You know, I still, yeah, you get it, right.
It’s like, it’s a crushing moment, but it’s not like, it’s not like he tried to do that. It’s not, it’s really, you crush yourself by saying that. So then fast forward, it’s, you know, 14 years later, I’m in a transformative workshop and somebody’s sharing about something, you know, and all of a sudden I have this insight that maybe that’s not the truth that you can’t do your art as your career.
Like this was like this huge revelation for me. Like, what if that’s not the truth? Because look at all the people who do do their art.
And all of a sudden I started seeing evidence for another side of the story. And I thought, wow. Yeah.
And it was wild because in that moment, nothing else happened other than I saw it wasn’t true. And it got loosened, it loosened its grip on me. And then within the next, you know, three months, I just started taking actions consistent with being a singer.
I scheduled a show. I did a demo. I started introducing myself to people as a singer, which at first felt like a lie because I still had the conflated singer, loser, you know, singer, starving artist, you know, like you couldn’t make so.
But as I started doing it, I developed the muscle to say, you know, I’m a singer because that’s what I was creating with my word. And then I was taking the actions to fulfil on that. And within three months, I got a record deal.
Now, when I auditioned for it was a girl group called Boy Crazy with a K produced by Kylie Minogue’s producers Stock Aiken and Waterman. They’re celebrating their 40th anniversary this year, which is wow.
[Alexx Stuart] (21:54 – 21:56)That makes me feel old. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (21:56 – 24:37)
Tell me about it. It was 30. I don’t know.
It’s 32, 33 years ago when I had the hit. So I mean, they talk about a lifetime ago, three kids ago. But in any case, so when I went to the record company, and I was waiting to hear they were deciding between me and like a 14 year old and you know, I was the oldest one that was being considered for this group.
And I just kept getting like nervous, you know, when you’re waiting to hear of course, oh my gosh, yeah, reaction, I’m like, my mind is going crazy, whatever. And every time I would catch myself, I okay, that’s a possible way to be right now. But another possibility is I could take an action.
What action could I take that would now have me be fulfilling the stream. So I would call somebody like my grandmother, I’d say, Can you light a candle for this? And she’d say yes.
And then I’d call another friend, share what I’m, you know, creating. And I would just be replacing those reactions with actions that were created by me inside of my vision to fulfil the stream. So then this is the best part, then I get the word that I didn’t get it.
That they went with the younger one, right? Even at 19 or 20. It’s just crazy, right?
They were going with the younger girl. And I said, Okay, and I was upset for about a minute. Because that’s, you know, a reaction, you’re normally going to react.
But then the next month, yeah. But then the next moment, I said, Okay, my dream, my goal right now is to get a record deal. So what action can I take to do that?
So I made a list of everybody I knew in the record business, I wrote an email that I was going to send to each person. And the next day, I was out to lunch with a friend planning a fundraiser for a programme that I was raising money for. And I and this is before cell phones.
And I know I was gonna say, even email sounds a bit like, I know, really write a letter or I was writing, I didn’t send the emails because I couldn’t figure out how to get online. But in any case, at this lunch planning this thing, and I come back to my office, and there’s seven messages from my agent. And I was like, what could this possibly be about?
And I and I, of course, my reaction is I’m in trouble. Because somebody’s trying to reach me seven times. And I call her and she said, they changed their mind, they’re going with you.
So that’s a great example of hacking, being in reaction, getting to neutral, taking action from your vision, and just keep staying in action on fulfilling your vision. Now, obviously, doesn’t always work out that way for people where somebody changes their mind.
[Alexx Stuart] (24:37 – 24:47)But even if they hadn’t, I would have just been in action on what was the way with whatever the next iteration of the you got it was going to look like. Exactly. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (24:48 – 24:48)
Yeah. [Alexx Stuart] (24:48 – 24:50)
So that’s a powerful example. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (24:51 – 24:57)
It’s a I think it is a good example. I nobody’s ever asked me that question before. So I’m glad that I got to formulate that with you. [Alexx Stuart] (24:58 – 25:54)
Yeah, because otherwise, like I often find when we’re trying to improve certain areas of our lives that feel like the frustration piece, right? Like, why is this broken record playing in my life where I never get the thing done? Never make the thing happen.
Like you said, 98% of people are statistically getting to their deathbed like that. So we know for a fact it is the great majority of people. And I think if you can bring it to life in examples, then it’s a beautiful thing.
I have an example that comes to mind that’s that’s around working in. Um, actually, you know what, I’ll edit that out, because I’m still doing that gig. And it’s not it’s not public yet.
No, I can’t share it.
[Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (25:54 – 25:55)Okay. No problem. [Alexx Stuart] (25:56 – 26:09)
It’s a really good example. I’ll share it with you. And we start recording.
I’ll edit this out later. I’ll pick up my train of thought. And it’s good when you said examples to bring it to life examples.
[Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (26:09 – 26:09)Yeah, exactly. [Alexx Stuart] (26:10 – 26:31)
So I really appreciate you sharing that with us. Because then it makes it tangible, then you see the moments where we all experienced that moment of disappointment. And that’s what you can do in that moment to actually not then fall back and become a reactor by default again, or wait for something to happen. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (26:32 – 27:46)
But one of the things that I find with my clients that aren’t fulfilling on their goals, right, is all that’s missing is actions. I mean, they’re spending time being upset about Oh, I’m not I’m procrastinating. Why am I procrastinating?
Why have I not gotten this? They’re spending all this time thinking about the reasons versus taking actions. It’s insane, right?
So I just work with them on Okay, well, what actions are we going to take? Because if you take actions, you will have results. If they’re not the desired result, then I work with people to get to the source of the undesired result.
What was the action you took that was ineffective? Or what was missing? What was the inaction that if you had taken, would have amplified your opportunity to fulfil on your goal.
So it really is performance based my coaching a lot of it, it’s a lot of its mindset, because that’s my background is transformative work. But a lot of it is performance based actions and inactions. But coming from your vision, not coming from just getting stuff done or being busy.
It’s about really being able to fulfil on what matters to you at every moment. And that changes. And people don’t usually check in with themselves about well, what really matters to me now?
[Alexx Stuart] (27:47 – 28:43)Mm hmm. I was going to ask that, right? Because sometimes you think you have a vision, you think you have the goals to align with that vision, and then you get started.
And it can be really tricky. I think I’ve been there myself, where you’re like, hold on, am I sticking with this, and it’s feeling hard. And it’s just my, my personal story, I’m telling myself about it being hard.
Or is this friction, actually me getting to a particular point on this journey and going, I actually don’t want to do this? How can we actually navigate? Like, is there a process, a set of questions we can ask ourselves to separate the limiting belief piece?
And that’s why you’re not moving forward from the Oh, crap, this wasn’t actually the right goal for me right now. I’m not even actually into this. And that’s why this isn’t working.
[Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (28:43 – 29:57)Well, a lot of people end up with goals by default, right? So it’s like they think they should want x, y, z. And I, I do a process with people called the dream source discovery process.
And when I say dream source, you could exchange vision for that. It’s the same kind of thing, that spatial thing. And even in my TED talk, I talk about this.
But a lot of the default dreams or default goals we have, even if we accomplish them, we’re not satisfied. And people that, especially anybody who’s like successful, they’ve accomplished a million things, but it’s never really truly satisfying. They’re never truly fulfilled.
It’s like a moment and then they’re on to the next thing. That’s how you can tell if it’s not really a goal that you created, but you’re playing that game by default. And it’s a tough one to see because, you know, people are all from society or your family or how you grew up that you’re just like, well, now I’m just going to finish college, or now I’m just going to go get a job, or now I’m going to start my own business because you think you should.
So one of the biggest things that messes with people is shoulds and shouldn’ts or have tos.
[Alexx Stuart] (29:57 – 30:11)Not consciously realising something is a should. So can we actually drill down to like a powerful question? I mean, I don’t want you to give away your entire system, but for the sake of the end of the year, and I just think it’d be really… [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (30:11 – 31:23)
I want to give away my entire system. Everybody should. I have a free workbook on my website called The Basics of Being Unmessable With.
It’s a 12 page workbook that will bring you through step by step by step what to do. I mean, obviously it’s not like the deepest work because it’s a workbook, but this is a perfect way for people to get started with how do I exercise this muscle? How do I identify?
How do I hack? How do I pre-create a vision and then take actions from that vision? I mean, your vision of connection is so great because that’s one that you could pre-create all sorts of actions.
Like if we were in this conversation and I said something that annoyed you, you know, and you caught it and were able to bring yourself back to the conversation, there’s a hundred actions you could take to be connected right now with me. So it’s so accessible because you could pre-create, because in the heat of the moment, you know, if you know you’re going into a situation with somebody that triggers you or that you get nervous around or whatever, you can be ready with, okay, I’m going to look that person in the eyes, or I’m going to ask them a question or I’m going to… whatever it is.
I mean, you can create anything you want, but then you’re living by design, not by default.
[Alexx Stuart] (31:24 – 31:39)So true. So if you really want something and yearn for it, like the trip to see your family, you make it all happen. Like the biggest thing you want out of that, you start making it happen now in everyday life. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (31:39 – 32:35)
I mean, you can be connected to your family members on a Zoom call or a FaceTime call right now. You don’t have to wait until you get to France. But with regard to the goal of the France thing, what I would do with any goals, if somebody…
and I work with entrepreneurs to double their business and we do a year-long plan. So we go, okay, where do we want to be in a year? And then we backwards plan the whole year with the milestones.
Like if you want to be at a million dollars by January, we’ll be at 750 by October 1st. And then we’ll be at, you know, whatever the backwards plan is. Then I would work on, okay, so what are the actions you need to take to have the milestone that’s, you know, in the first quarter of the year, maybe April 1st, right?
Because people are going into the beginning of the year to have that be complete. And for you, if you want to be in France next year, I would say, book your ticket today. Like, what are you waiting for?
It starts when you book the ticket. That’s when the trip starts. You know, it doesn’t start when you get to France.
[Alexx Stuart] (32:35 – 32:43)Yeah, sure does. That’s so true. Absolutely.
Like actually plan for it, put it in the diary, get it happening.
[Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (32:43 – 32:58)I mean, that’s what happened for me. And another dream that I accomplished is living in France. I mean, I have wanted to live in France since I was 16 years old.
I came here for my high school graduation. I fell in love with it. I was like, I am going to live in France someday.
[Alexx Stuart] (32:59 – 33:03)I love it. I feel the same way. Which part of France are you in? [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (33:03 – 33:04)
I live in Paris. [Alexx Stuart] (33:04 – 33:05)
Oh, how awesome. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (33:05 – 33:07)
I know it’s horrible. It’s terrible. [Alexx Stuart] (33:07 – 33:16)
Yeah. I’ve always said when my son finishes school, which is only three and a bit years away now, I will do six months in Paris. And that is- That’s what we do.
Yeah.
[Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (33:16 – 34:22)That has been my- We do six months here, six months in New York, but I had been talking about it for 40 years. And then I was listening to myself. I was leading a course that I designed called The Foundation, The Heart of Being Unmessable With.
And in one of the sessions, I talk about someday. And I talk about how that’s not a real day and that’s not a real goal. If you have a someday goal, it’s not real.
And I got off the call and I said to my husband, I was like, we’ve been talking about moving to France forever. Are we going to really do it? And if we are, let’s set a date.
And that was in November. And we said, okay, let’s do it May 1st. So we set the date.
The next week, we came to visit just for a long weekend. Friends of ours were moving out of their apartment. We got their apartment.
We applied for our visas, came in four days. We set up French bank accounts. I mean, it was all- We started taking the actions that were consistent with that.
We booked our flight May 1st. We were like, we’ll figure it out. And it all fell into place.
And that’s why I say, if you don’t take action, nothing’s going to happen except by accident.
[Alexx Stuart] (34:23 – 34:59)Yeah. We don’t want to leave it to chance. That’s not a great idea.
I loved your analogy of you’re just a leaf in the wind with the way too messable with, and that expression unmessable with is beautiful. And I think it, it’s obviously a parallel with being, creating instead of reacting. And why did you land with unmessable with?
Like, I think it’s interesting how these stories come to life.
[Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (34:59 – 35:57)Well, you know, people sometimes think it means being tough or something. It’s not what it means at all. You know, it’s about really having your word be unmessable with.
So when you create something, you don’t get thrown off track. You can always get back to what you’re creating. But how it came to be is, so many years ago, this is like in my twenties, I was, so it’s almost 25.
So it was like 25 years ago. I was leading courses for a company called Landmark and I was on a training call with one of my mentors who just passed away this year and, you know, will be missed forever. Yeah.
He’s amazing human being, Richard Condon. And he said something to someone else. It wasn’t even to me, but he said, oh, you’re so messable with.
And somehow I heard that word and I was like, unmessable with is what my life’s going to be about. That’s it. My job is to develop people to be unmessable with and live the life of their dreams.
And that was it. You know, that was kind of like just my calling, so to speak.
[Alexx Stuart] (35:57 – 36:24)So can I ask then a personal question? Because you were obviously in the girl band that had the big hit. Was there like, was there a moment where you realised new goal, new chapter?
Yeah. Like I was going to say, or, you know, so many people in that business actually just get booted out or they’re no longer kind of the in thing. And so you get discarded.
[Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (36:24 – 39:34)Well, it happened. It was kind of both. We got, we were a group of five people and we were put together.
So we weren’t like friends from childhood or anything like that. And Stock, Aiken and Waterman at that time, the producers, there was a big backlash against them. And we didn’t know this, you know, I was the oldest, one of the groups.
So there were like 14, 16, 19, you know, and we didn’t know that this was the time of Millie Vanilli, where if anybody is old enough to remember Millie Vanilli, they had to give back their Grammy because they were caught lip syncing. So Stock, Aiken and Waterman were kind of known as a producing group that would have background singers really be singing, but they’d have like models be the front people. So it was like fake.
Right now, in our case, we were actually singing. But it was a real tough kind of release because everybody hated Stock, Aiken and Waterman at the time. And they had had so many hits, people were just like sick of them.
Right. So the song didn’t go anywhere when we released it in the UK, and then they released another song and it didn’t go anywhere. And then they were going to drop us.
So they told us, OK, we’re releasing you from your record contract. At this point, we’re only four girls. They started dropping like flies.
Right. And as we’re waiting for the paperwork to be released, some DJ in Denver, Colorado, picked up the song on import and started playing it. And it became an instant hit and it spread.
It was like number one in Colorado. Then it was number one in the country. I mean, it was climbing the charts and we didn’t even have an album.
Our album wasn’t even finished. So we had no records in the stores. Which is like, you know, the single they kind of quickly got out, but the album wasn’t out.
So we really missed the opportunity to sell the record because we were the most played song on radio that year, you know, and we knocked Whitney Houston’s I Will Always Love You out of the number one spot. So that is something for your life bio right there. My dream is definitely fulfilled.
But it was like this bad management. But that’s what I called it. It was just we had bad management.
We were the precursor to the Spice Girls. They were modelled after us and they had great management. We had poor management and, you know, and it didn’t really work.
So in any case, I then became a manager after that. So after about five years of doing it, we got down to three girls. And then at some point they were like, OK, we’re not going to keep funding this because we we weren’t, you know, selling records.
So I was still writing and I was still singing. But I one of the girls in the group, the youngest girl, wanted to pursue a solo career and she asked me to manage her. So I was like, I don’t really want to be a manager.
We’ve had such bad management, like five different managers we went through in five years. I said, but I don’t trust anybody else to do it. So I’m going to help you for free until we find somebody.
And that was twenty seven years ago. I’ve just been managing people ever since. It’s hysterical.
It’s like I just I like having people’s dreams come true. So I just figured, OK, well, here’s my new company.
[Alexx Stuart] (39:35 – 39:42)But what a beautiful transition into the work you ended up landing with and creating from. Like that’s awesome. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (39:43 – 40:01)
But that’s a good example of, OK, you’re getting dropped now. What action? Well, I’m going to go support people.
And I also wanted to go have kids, which I did get married. I met my husband on the tail end of Boy Crazy. And when I met my husband, I was like, all right, I think it’s time to, you know, stop travelling around and doing radio shows at four in the morning.
[Alexx Stuart] (40:01 – 40:05)I think it’s just crazy about the one boy now. And that’s right. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (40:05 – 40:22)
Well, because I was older than all the girls whenever we would do a radio interview and they’d say, so are you really boy crazy? Which they would always ask. I’d say they’re they’re boy crazy.
I’m man hungry because I was already in my like mid-twenties. I love it.
[Alexx Stuart] (40:23 – 40:36)So cringe the things that media ask people. Oh, my gosh. OK, so that wasn’t a digression.
That was a magnificent side quest. Thank you for sharing that.
[Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (40:36 – 40:37)Absolutely. [Alexx Stuart] (40:37 – 40:59)
I want to ask about in terms of vision and goals, something that people obviously struggle with is the imposter factor that, well, what do I think I deserve that for when people aren’t even X, Y, Z, fill in the blanks or I don’t even have a qualification, you know, or whatever. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (40:59 – 41:01)
It’s huge, though. It’s a huge epidemic. [Alexx Stuart] (41:02 – 41:30)
Yeah. And yet it is the land of opportunity globally now with the way media is structured and the way we can have two way conversations and create communities. I mean, the mind boggles with how much someone’s able to do.
Like our parents used to say to us, there’s no money in art. You know, you’ve got it like I used to love dancing and singing as well and tennis. And like that was absolutely none of that was going to make me any money.
[Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (41:30 – 41:43)That’s so funny. I gave up on tennis when I was 10. Yes, because Hilary Adler started playing tennis at my tennis club and she was so good.
I was like, I’m never going to be as good as Hilary Adler. So I just quit. That was before I started participating in transformation.
[Alexx Stuart] (41:44 – 41:59)I know. But these things happen and it just it it it literally railroads us at the time. And like those things don’t just disappear from your soul because it’s not about the thing. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (41:59 – 42:07)
It’s the mindset. And then you have a lid on what’s possible. And anytime you have a lid on what’s possible, you’re in prison. [Alexx Stuart] (42:08 – 42:15)
Yeah. That’s a good one. Anytime you have a lid on what’s possible, you’re in prison. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (42:16 – 43:17)
And, you know, many people, again, successful people, they create this whole enterprise, you know, their business or whatever it is that they’re creating, and it’s magical and they’re making mistakes. They don’t know what they’re doing. It doesn’t matter.
They’re still enlivened and excited. That’s the space of creation. But then they create it.
And it turns into something. Something to manage. Now I got to keep the company going, I got to make it survive, or it could be a relationship or whatever.
It turns into a thing. And that is prison. And people are in a self-created prison, but they also have the key.
You know, it’s just hacking that and freedom is on the other side, but it does take discipline and it takes coaching and it takes training. I mean, you know, I have three coaches because you can’t do it on your own. I really find it’s not one of these things you’re going to self do.
You need somebody who can see what you can’t see. So you can disappear what you need to disappear so you can be and have what you want to have.
[Alexx Stuart] (43:18 – 43:27)Oh, 100%. I completely agree. And so the imposter syndrome again can be fixed with action. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (43:28 – 43:36)
Well, I have, I mean, I ran into it so often. I created a process for it. It’s free on my website.
You can just go and get the imposter syndrome.
[Alexx Stuart] (43:36 – 43:38)We’ll pop the links in the show notes guys, by the way. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (43:39 – 44:35)
But I try, you know, I dealt with like the things that most mess with people, money, you know, time, but all those kinds of things. So I created something for everything that I could think of. If anybody has ideas that they need, let me know.
But the imposter syndrome process has to do with taking yourself, like your narrative about yourself, which is where the imposter syndrome lives out of the picture. So I have people make a list of accomplishments that they have had in their life and make it dry, like not a whole big flower. It’s like, I have worked with 10,000 people.
I have, you know, raised $80,000. I have, or whatever people’s results are, right? I have three children.
I graduated with these awards. I, whatever the thing is, right. And then put it into chat GPT and say, create an introduction for this person as if they are on a show.
[Alexx Stuart] (44:36 – 44:38)Oh, I love this. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (44:38 – 45:13)
And you would be shocked what comes out because it doesn’t have your BS. It has none of your story from when you were little and how you’re not good enough and blah, blah, blah, none of it. So it is like this powerful introduction of somebody who produced those.
And it’s not lies. It’s everything you produced. You know, I’ve worked with 15 companies.
I did it at whatever it is. And you have this introduction. Then I have them either record it or have someone else even better record it.
And they play it for themselves every day for two weeks in the morning, like introducing themselves to themselves every morning.
[Alexx Stuart] (45:13 – 46:02)Oh my gosh, that’s so great. Gosh. Okay.
Do you know where my mind just went? Because we’re both Gen X, this will be perfect. Remember when Chandler tries to quit smoking and he buys the meditative tape.
And then one day he wakes up and he’s in a scene with Monica in friends. And he’s like being brainwashed by the tapes. And he’s having a moment of weakness around smoking again.
And he says, I’m a strong, confident woman because the tape was about being a strong, confident woman giving up the smoking. And I, I’m just such a believer in what you said, because like, we do literally need those circuit breakers if we’re stuck in a pattern and we need a completely unemotional thing coming into our brain, showing us what’s possible.
[Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (46:03 – 46:30)And you know, if you think about it, the new narrative is no more or less true than the old narrative. It’s just, you’ve been telling yourself the old narratives for so long. It seems true.
So if you create a new voice coming into your head, not just yours, then you have a shot at rewiring those neuronal pathways, which are hardened, but they’re not solid. You know, you can rewire them.
[Alexx Stuart] (46:31 – 46:40)Yeah. So good. So good.
Chat GPT. Hey, something good might come out of AI yet.
[Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (46:40 – 47:10)Yeah. I mean, I, I, you know, from time to time I use it to structure things like format this manual or whatever. And it’s really remarkable how quickly it can spit things out.
My husband was like, I said, okay, I’m going to say, write a letter to my wife of 30 years, write a love letter to my wife of 30 years. That’s the only instruction I gave it. And it spit out this letter and his eyes were like, oh my God.
So if you can use it rather than it have use you, you’ll you’re good.
[Alexx Stuart] (47:11 – 47:15)You’re good. Exactly. Again, creating versus reacting. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (47:16 – 47:17)
You got it. [Alexx Stuart] (47:17 – 48:56)
Now burnout, overwhelm. These seem to be things that are coming up a lot for people in this frenetic landscape. Shall we say of, I think the social media piece that’s been added to our lives, the five bazillion connections, the, oh my gosh, I should send a, I’m so sorry about your mom to the person you met once at a conference as, and, you know, and then you’re not even making time to see your friend because you’ve got all of this dilution.
I genuinely believe this is playing into our epidemic of overwhelm and burnout. And, and I think we can confuse the overwhelm and burnout with our own lives, but we haven’t actually realised how much of our lives aren’t actually our lives, if that makes sense. And so I wanted your, your view on that and, and how you help people navigate like flabbiness that we include in our lives.
That just, it’s just, it’s useless. It’s unhealthy. And it keeps us in a reactive passive state.
And yet because of big tech and the algorithms, it’s so seductive and so easy to get caught up and caught. And, and then we get to like 11 PM and we haven’t even done our own laundry or something as simple as emptying a dishwasher, but we have spent three hours on Instagram, you know, and I just like, what hope do we have of fulfilling our dreams in this equation? Right?
[Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (48:56 – 52:33)Well, you don’t, because that’s almost all reactions. So, I mean, I have so many resources around this. Some are free, some are paid, but the one I think would make the most difference in your conversation.
Well, two things. One thing is overwhelm and burnout. Let’s take burnout.
Burnout, usually the source of burnout is being disconnected from your vision. If you’re connected to your vision, you could be busy all day long and have energy at the end of the day. Right?
So part of the burnout cure is to keep your vision alive and real, keep it in your environment, put it on a post it, whatever you need to do, share about it, you know, multiple times a day so that it stays alive and real. So that’s one quick answer. Then the overwhelm part, I have this workshop that I do called design your days, because what I’ve found with most people that experience overwhelm is that they’re not in reality about what there is to do.
They’re in a story called, I’m overwhelmed. I have too much to do. I don’t have enough time.
I mean, it’s all a narrative, but if you look at your actual calendar, if you don’t have everything that you have to do in your calendar, then you’re good luck. Good luck being effective. Good luck not being overwhelmed.
So for me, my calendar is like my canvas. I create my life on my calendar. I have showering on my calendar.
I have take my blood pressure medicine. I have, you know, leave to go to that appointment. Cause you know, most people schedule things.
They don’t even schedule travel time. And then they’re rushing and late to this and their nervous system is all screwed up. So I have a whole calendar workshop.
I mean, it’s only like $19. So it’s almost free, but it’s a 45 minute workshop with, with worksheets and everything that will transform your relationship to time and overwhelm. I have not been overwhelmed.
I can’t remember a time I was overwhelmed, honestly. And I am not like an unbusy person. I have three kids.
I was the president of the PTA, the president of the neighbourhood. I had a nonprofit. I was raising $90 million.
I was managing the careers of a hundred actors, leading transformative workshops on the way. So it’s not like I’m like, not, I don’t have a tonne of free time or something, but I’ve haven’t been overwhelmed ever that I can remember. Maybe when I was a teenager, I can’t remember.
So I have a methodology for it. It’s, and it’s simple, but it takes discipline. So lots of people that I work with initially resist putting things in their calendar.
They’re like, I don’t want to put my shower. I don’t want to put when I’m leaving for an appointment. I’m like, okay, but then don’t complain about overwhelm.
Because if you have to-do lists, they never get complete. If you have those things in your calendar, there’s a specific time in which you’re going to be doing those things. You now have that thing happening in reality.
Even if it’s a month from now, like for you with your trip, right? If you even put in your calendar today, that next Thursday, you’re booking the ticket. Now that’s out of your space.
It is in your calendar. So you want to get things out of your space, right? Your mind, your whatever.
It’s not a good place to keep things because your memory is a bad test for reality. So if you get it all in your calendar, then you can even move things around. So like if I have yoga in my calendar for, you know, 7.30 in the morning, how I create it is I put a context before the action. So I’ll put vitality yoga. Because if you don’t put what you’re creating- Oh, that’s a nice differential.
[Alexx Stuart] (52:33 – 52:34)That’s important. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (52:35 – 52:35)
That- Exactly. [Alexx Stuart] (52:36 – 52:46)
I was like, oh God, like, no, if I put it in the calendar, then I feel like I’m in prison. But then as soon as you linked it to vision, now you’re talking. Yeah, I get that. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (52:47 – 53:30)
And that’s the game changer because now you’re creating your day. And even if you move it and say, you know what, I’m going to do yoga at 10 a.m. instead of 7.30 and you move it, it’s there to move. If it’s not there, you can’t move it.
And when people double book themselves, which is a source of a lot of overwhelm for people, you can’t do that in a calendar. You can only do that in your head. No two things can exist in the same place at the same time in physical reality.
So it’s, and I colour code and I do a whole thing with people about how they can use their calendar to really empower themselves because mostly it’s just like a to-do list. No. What if it’s a to-be list with to-do’s that are an expression of what you’re creating?
[Alexx Stuart] (53:32 – 53:43)A to-be list with to-do’s that are an expression of what you’re creating. That is pretty darn magical. I love that, Jocelyn.
I genuinely do. Right?
[Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (53:43 – 53:44)I love it too. [Alexx Stuart] (53:44 – 54:03)
It’s a very cool shift from what we know to be doing most of us most of the time when it comes to to-do lists and diaries. And yeah, I definitely have never put take a shower in my diary ever. I’m going to give it a go. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (54:03 – 54:59)
Well, it’s funny. I didn’t have it in my calendar yesterday and guess what? I didn’t take a shower because I didn’t have it created and I just went through life and life is coming at me and I’m dealing with things.
And before I knew it, I was like, oh, you know what? It’s six o’clock. I’m not going to take a shower today.
I’ll just take it in the morning, you know, because I didn’t design it. And anytime somebody’s like, oh, this isn’t happening. I’m like, okay, but did you design it?
Did you design the actions that are going to fulfil on that goal or not? If you didn’t, then this is not a mystery. You know, may the force be with you.
If you don’t design going to the gym, it’s not like, wake up and be like, I feel like going to the gym, you know, then, okay, good luck if, because I’ve never felt like going to the gym in my life. So if you’re waiting for your feelings to tell you what to do, then you’re kind of screwed. Then you’re in the world of, like you said, knee jerk town, you know?
[Alexx Stuart] (55:00 – 55:10)Yeah, exactly. Cause ultimately you won’t feel like doing much and then something will come and demand your attention that it be done, that you didn’t design. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (55:11 – 55:15)
And I have a friend, actually, Jen introduced us, didn’t she? [Alexx Stuart] (55:15 – 55:15)
Yeah. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (55:16 – 56:04)
Yeah. She’s the friend that, you know, she loves to connect people, right? This is like her connection is one of her visions, right?
So she’s so good at it. I mean, I’ve never met anybody who’s as good at connecting people as, as Jennifer Hill. Right.
And one of the things that was happening is that she would have all these connection conversations and she wouldn’t be getting done what she wanted to get done. So I told her, I was like, you need to put into your calendar an hour of last minute connection time block so that you can schedule people in that block and you don’t have to displace other stuff. And she loved that.
She just started doing it. And, you know, she’s one of the people who did the calendar workshop or the design your days workshop early on and was like, this is transformative. Like, you know, and I was like, maybe I’ll make it a thing, you know, I’ll give it to people.
[Alexx Stuart] (56:04 – 56:28)Oh, so good. Love it. I will definitely be including the link to that one as well.
Thank you. I have a last question for you and that is around the theme of end of year. Do you have an end of year, beginning of year process from a calendar perspective?
Do you think it matters to have one? Talk us through it.
[Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (56:28 – 56:33)Well, I have a workshop for this too. It’s called create your year. Of course. [Alexx Stuart] (56:33 – 56:40)
I got, I got an app for that, you know, but you’re sounding like a veritable New Yorker right now. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (56:40 – 58:29)
I am a veritable New Yorker, but it’s just crazy because these are the things that people deal with. And that’s why I created this create your year workshop. I did it live last year with a group of people, a whole day workshop.
And then I recorded it and put it online for people. And the first thing you want to do at the end of the year is get complete with the year because many people have regrets or resentments or things they didn’t accomplish. And they just kind of sweep them under the rug and they don’t deal with it.
And they try and create on top of a bunch of mud. So you must get all that stuff complete. And I have a process in that create your year workshop that allows you to ask the kind of questions, but if you want to get started, it’s just, you know, what regrets do you have?
What things did you say you were going to accomplish that you didn’t? What things did you say you were going to accomplish that you did? What did you accomplish that you didn’t say you were going to accomplish?
So it’s like basically an inventory and then allowing any shoulds, shouldn’ts, good, bad, right, wrong, all of that to like fall to the wayside and start with a clean slate for the new year. And really look at, okay, what is my vision? Not goal, but what is my vision?
And now standing in that vision, what are my goals? By the end of the year, what do I want to have accomplished? And then there’s a whole worksheet to then backwards plan your year so that you have milestone results.
If you’re going to, let’s say you want to, you know, uh, get married by the end of the year, you know, then by November you will have at least scheduled the wedding. And by June, you will have met the person and by, you know, whatever it is. Yeah, exactly.
Well, you don’t have to hope if you have this plan because then you’re creating a plan and you’re going to take actions. Like people are like, oh, I haven’t met the one. I’m like, well, what actions are you taking?
Well, I’m kind of hoping to meet somebody that’s not an action.
[Alexx Stuart] (58:29 – 58:31)It’s so true. Yeah. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (58:31 – 58:34)
My coach asked people to set you up. [Alexx Stuart] (58:34 – 59:20)
Yeah. My coach was sharing just an anecdote of another clients, um, not mentioning any names or anything like that, but he did mention the dating example and that she had this clear vision for, um, a goal to meet someone, but it just was all too hard to go out and meet people. And she hated the apps.
I said, what do you do every night? Well, I just get home. I make myself some dinner and I watch some TV and then I’m tired.
I go to bed. And where is this going to be getting you closer to the goal that you have? Um, whereas if you bring in the vision piece and then the actions that you need to create that vision, much more likely.
[Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (59:20 – 1:00:07)And the goal. And sometimes people are just full of it. I mean, that’s the thing.
They’re lying to themselves. Like you said, how do you know when it’s not a goal that you really want? I mean, at some point you have to look at what game are you playing?
Because your actions are going to tell you what’s important to you, you know, and, and there’s two tongues in your life. One tongue never lies. It’s the tongue in your shoe.
The tongue in your mouth lies all the time. It says, Oh, I want to lose weight as you eat cheesecake every night, you know, or I want to get married as you sit and binge watch Netflix. I mean, it’s just, what are you committed to now?
What actions do you need to take? If you’re not acting on something that you say you’re committed to, you got to question the authenticity of what you’re saying. Not like you’re wrong.
You’re just full of it.
[Alexx Stuart] (1:00:08 – 1:00:13)Oh my gosh. It’s so true. And it’s about to stop lying to yourself. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (1:00:14 – 1:00:42)
Exactly. And to others, but really to yourself because people do convince themselves they’re in a game. Like, like I am, I’m in France, right?
I am not committed to losing weight right now. I’m just not, you know, it’s like, as I eat bread every day, I mean, that’s my actions. I’m not going to like pretend, Oh, I really want to lose some weight.
No. When I get back to New York. Okay, fine.
I’ll create that game. But right now I’m like, I don’t care what I, I don’t even have a scale. I don’t care what I’m committed to.
[Alexx Stuart] (1:00:43 – 1:00:49)You know, you’re walking everywhere anyway. So like a little bit of bread doesn’t hurt. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (1:00:49 – 1:01:43)
Not as much as it does in New York, but it, but it’s definitely not like I’m losing weight. I mean, my clothes still fit, but I’m like, all right, you know, that’s not the game I’m in right now. The game I’m in is really enjoying every moment and every morsel that’s available available to me here.
That’s what’s important. And you get to say, what’s important. You know, you don’t have to play any game.
I mean, unless obviously if your doctor says your heart is whatever, you know, and you’ve got to do some stuff, that’s a different thing. But if you’re creating, what’s important to you as a matter of your word, then there’s nothing you have to, or can’t, you can create anything. It’s not like you have to spend more time with your family, but if that’s important to you, then create that as a game and then take the actions to fulfil on that.
But if you say, oh, I really wish I could spend more time with my family and you’re taking no actions to do that, I would question, I’d call a little BS on that. I’d be like, well, but I don’t think so.
[Alexx Stuart] (1:01:45 – 1:02:06)Yeah. It’s, I mean, what a fantastic way to actually start thinking is like thinking more and thinking and screening yourself more. I’m really picking up on a big, just like checking in and making sure you’re not lying to yourself and you’re not living in, oh, I probably should do that. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (1:02:07 – 1:02:17)
Yeah. And that’s a big, big thing to notice. That’s a red flag that if you’re saying should or shouldn’t, you’re definitely in the world of knee-jerk land or reaction. [Alexx Stuart] (1:02:18 – 1:02:41)
What a fantastic hour of power, Jocelyn. Thank you so much for joining us. I think this was the perfect conversation to be having as we round out another year and to put some ideas into people’s heads that next year actually can be different and by your design.
So I really appreciate your work. It was an awesome chat.
[Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (1:02:41 – 1:02:46)It was so great being with you. Thanks for asking me questions. People have not asked me in the past, so I appreciate that. [Alexx Stuart] (1:02:46 – 1:02:52)
That’s kind of my little zone of genius. I have to say, I like finding extra juicy bits. So thank you for noticing. [Josselyne Herman-Saccio] (1:02:53 – 1:02:53)
Absolutely. [Alexx Stuart] (1:02:54 – 1:05:50)
I hope you loved today’s show as much as I loved bringing it to you. I want to remind you that if you are someone who craves a low-tox community that is judgement-free, full of empowerment, has health professionals and building health professionals that can support you, as well as me in there answering questions multiple times a week, I want to invite you to join the Low Tox Club. For the price of less than a cup of coffee a month, you have an annual membership for $49 Australian, so it’s about $30 US or Euro, that allows you to have a member masterclass every single month with a health professional or global expert from the podcast where we have them to ourselves for an hour to ask questions and deep dive further.
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