Show #63: non-violent communication with Paulette Bray-Narai

I get asked all the time: “I want to leave a review but HOW?” So here’s how to leave a review on ITunes on your phone?

Don’t be “in your show” where you see all the episodes, you won’t be able to do it. Just go to general podcast app and hit the search icon. Type in Low Tox Life. DON’T click on one of the single episode /shows that comes up, click on the Low Tox Life square tile. Once clicked on that, you’ll see 3 tabs: Details. Reviews. Related. Click subscribe, then click reviews and there you can write your review. 2 words, 1 sentence, biggest AHA… Doesn’t matter, just for you to leave one is so much appreciated and helps us stay visible in ITunes charts and Thrive. Thanks so much guys, Alexx x


Firstly, a treat from this month’s show supporters… Weleda and The Wholefood Collective


I love Weleda and their magnificent range of natural beauty products. Once I learned what low tox products were, Weleda became one of my key go-to brands not only because of the quality of the products but also because they are very affordable. Weleda have been making their products since 1921. It all started with Rudolf Steiner, the scientist, who created the brand on the basis that reconnecting to the natural world brings us back to balance. If you’re starting to think about gift ideas, I can’t recommend the hand creams enough, they are divine. If you know someone who always complains about dry skin patches, or someone who travels a lot, or someone who is in air-conditioning a lot for work, you cannot go past Skin Food. Some of my personal favourites as we come into summer here in Australia the Rose Face Lotion is divine, it’s not too heavy but gives a gentle anti-aging boost.  Some other things that I have in my medicinal cabinet are the Weleda Burns and Bites gel, an indispensable product for mosquito bites or cuts, scrapes and burns, and the Arnica cream or Arnica Pilules, on top of being great for bruises, aches and pains, it is also fantastic to prevent any kind of swelling you may experience when you’re flying.



Last week to receive 15% off the entire Weleda range* + FREE delivery over $29.95 (*excludes gift vouchers, gift packs and promotional items. Australian residents only). Code is LOWTOXLIFE and you can SHOP HERE>>>. 


Pukka may well be my favourite tea of all time! They make incredible organic herbal teas, which are all certified Fair for Life, ensuring the whole supply chain is fair and sustainable. Pukka is proudly a B-Corp company using business as a force for good and donates 1% of sales to environmental projects through 1% for the Planet. Pukka teas hit the mark on exactly what I need for certain things. Three Fennel for digestion boost, Womankind, a beautiful gentle blend, Three Tulsi which is brilliant if you’re reactive to certain foods (it is a powerful anti-inflammatory) and Three Mint tastes tastier than any mint tea I’ve had in my life. There are so many beautiful options across the range! We have two fabulous offers from Pukka for this show and it is also the first time we extend our special offers to the UK and the US as well!


The offer is a 20% discount on online orders with the code LOWTOX20 for Australia and the UK. SHOP HERE.

For USA listeners only, if you fancy a free box of Pukka tea, all you have to do is pop in the comments what your favourite Pukka tea is.

Look – they even have a Pukka Advent Christmas Tea Calendar – when the adults get to enjoy their own little advent treat, too!


The Wholefood Collective

A great new brand that I am proud to support as an affiliate. It’s a small family-run business, focused on education and community and adding value with a membership model giving people 30% off on average their pantry staples, with a mostly organic range. The membership model allows them to pass on this huge saving, helping people make the important changes they want to make and switch to organic. For an entry-level membership of $59 a year, you get on average 30% off your shopping, with free shipping on orders over $140. They also provide beautiful educational resources to which I will contribute to make the transition to healthy living an easier one. They’ve gathered together the bees knees of the Australian health and wellness industry to help share this knowledge along with online classes including cook-a-longs and yoga classes, and more!

Your first order will have an additional 10% off when you become a member, so that’s a 40% total saving on average. When you become a member you receive a host of bonuses such as a complimentary 3 month membership to Food Matters TV (FMTV), a complimentary video mini-series on ‘How to Wholefood Your Life’ with Ashley Jubinville, Australia’s leading Kitchen Coach, a TWC recipe e-book and all the exclusive content mentioned above.

The offer is set to expire on Christmas day, is limited to one use per user and can’t be used in conjunction with other coupon codes. Code is LOWTOX and you can SHOP HERE. If you’re not sure where to start, I’ve put together a list of my pantry essentials HERE.

Now onto the show…



Here’s a little snapshot of the juicy bits in today’s episode…

  • Non-violent communication or NVC, named after Ghandi’s non-violent movement, is also know as compassionate communication. It’s both a personal practice in helping us connect with our humanity and it’s also a very practical and powerful communication tool with concrete skills we can put into practice.
  • Most of us have been educated to think and act in ways that are often judgemental. NVC encourages people to listen carefully and to act from their hearts instead of their heads.
  • Whenever we have uncomfortable feelings it’s a sign that a value or need isn’t being attended to. It’s important to turn our attention inwards before making assumptions or judging. We need to notice how we feel in order to have the clarity we need to own how we speak to others.
  • Acknowledging the needs of the other person we speak to is also key. Going to judgement is often the first place we go in our mind. Making the effort to find out where the other person comes from, why they did or say something that made us feel uncomfortable,  takes a lot of practice and is key to avoid coming from a place of blame when we speak to others.
  • Holding space and compassion for our humanity and recognising feelings of distress, anger or disappointment in others when they arise helps us communicate better. Focusing on what we can do better next time is a good way to add a bit more depth to an apology. It’s quite productive and constructive to honour what happened, acknowledge the unmet needs and find a preventative solution for the future.
  • When someone is angry at us, it’s important to acknowledge the anger, without trying to fix it. Empathising even though we’re experiencing a situation differently, or trying to create a way forward together are powerful ways to dissipate feelings such as anger.
  • Learning the NVC process can be very useful at any point in a relationship. For victims of domestic violence, NVC can help them recognise how important their self-talk is to their wellbeing. If someone is talking to them in a disrespectful way, understanding that it’s not something they need to do themselves.
  • NVC is best taught to children through modelling. When it comes to eating for example, a sense of curiosity is important: being willing to experiment with them, going to the market, showing respect for their choices, and making them understand the benefits of good eating to their health.
  • When it comes to discipline, NVC advocates approaching children with respectful curiosity. Trying to understand why they acted a certain way and choosing the right time to talk to them, most of the time away from the event that triggered us.
  • If family gatherings, especially around end of year celebrations, are creating tensions, try having conversations prior to the event with the people you know might not get along well, or tend to be difficult. Honouring and recognising their feelings is sometimes enough to diffuse tensions.
  • NVC is really about awareness of ourselves and tuning into the feelings of our bodies. A useful exercise is to ask yourself throughout the day “how am  I feeling right now” to make it a habit to tune in and acknowledge your feelings. Holding ourselves with compassion helps us to share compassion and speak compassionately with others.


And here are a few extra important links:

You can find out more about Paulette’s work, the workshops that she hosts and non-violent communication HERE.

If you want to click through to iTunes from here to subscribe to the podcast and listen to this week’s show, and the episodes that have aired since our launch in July 2016, GO HERE

If you want to listen on your android, download Stitcher or click through HERE or you can buy the Pocket Cast App for Android.

Enjoy the show and thanks again for taking the time to rate and review the show – it’s like tipping the bartender and it means the world.

Low Tox. Happy us. Happy planet




Comments 6

  1. Dear Alex and team,
    Thanks for all the great work. I’ve loved listening to your podcast since I found you 6 months ago!

    If the Pukka tea offer for US listeners is still available – I would love to try the “three fennel.”



    1. Post

      Thanks Devin. Glad you’re enjoying the podcast. Pop [email protected] an email and mention the podcast, sharing your postal address with her please and the fact that you’re after Three Fennel – as you heard, it’s a personal fave so I hope you enjoy it too x

    1. Post

      Hi Lisa – Yay! You’re in and you’ll love the Womankind blend. So soothing. Pop [email protected] an email and mention the podcast, sharing your postal address with her please and the fact that you’re after Womankind. Enjoy and thanks for supporting the show x

  2. Great topic and information. I find the most important part of effective communication is being curious about the reason behind the behaviour. Once we take the time to understand and discover the reason another person says or does what they do, we have far more acceptance, tolerance and less judgement.

    1. Post

      So glad you enjoyed it Karen and I totally agree – the WHY gives you incredible insights into the behaviour if you can dig in there and find it x

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